Does everyone know what I am talking about when I say that I hate that choking feeling you get right before you're going to cry........you know, the one that feels like Jabba th Hut is sitting on top of your throat inhibiting you from swallowing or announcing any number of syllables. I've gotten to know that feeling well this week. This whole opposite schedule game Sydney and I play is getting really old. The bonus round where Sydney is staying at a house where the internet connection sucks game has run its course as well. I knew what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to be practical and wait till April to get married, but it feels like jabba the hut fiddled with the clock too ! ! ! ! It just hurts sometimes. I love Sydney so much and all I ever think about is the next time I get to see her.
Amidst all my grumbling this week, I found a silver lining to this lugubrious cloud. The lining being that the pain i feel, the ache, the heart wrenching only confirms to me more than marrying Sydney is the absolute right decision. I think Mother Teresa hit the nail on the head when she said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” I should really just be saying to myself that there are only 85 days left till I don't have to let her out of my sight. 85 days ! Thats half a baseball season ! Thats nothing. I don't have the audacity to label myself a "history buff" but I'd like to think I dabble in American history. I don't know how John and Abagail Adams did it. John Adams was away from Abagail almost half their marriage, so certainly I should be able to hack a couple more months.
I would do it all over again if I had too, Thank Heaven I dont have to, but I would for Sydney. I do anything for that pretty face(Yep, that face, she knows which one I'm talking about.)
I think I find the greatest consolation in the fact I grow to love her more every day.
To quote a song she likes:
You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird,
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record,
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool,
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!