ANYWAY - Ruthe and I visit Target at least once per week. It's where we get our household essentialy things & random groceries when we don't want to drive all the way to the "white people Smith's". (I have some major prejudices about not being able to understand or be understood by anyone in the entire store.)
But this week we've been to Target THREE TIMES. Normally I would be really excited about that. I would call it a successful week. But no. The first time was for John's birthday present & to try and trick Ruthe into taking an earlier nap. We wandered through the store for about an hour, looking at rugs and pricing fancy blenders. At some point Ruthe took off one of her shoes & hid it underneath the cart cover. Panic! Those are expensive shoes, baby girl!! Anyway, I found it and we went home.
The next time I was trying to keep her awake & feed her while I picked up some random things we forgot a few days earlier. Again, wandering through the store for about an hour & she loses her shoe again. Ugh! Ok, she probably just hid it underneath her cover. NOPE!! Aaaah! But it was waiting there for us in home decor.
So we check the basket for all our purchases and belongings and head home. Wait - big problem - somewhere between finding the shoe and packing up the car we lost her binky!! WHAT?! I wouldn't be so worried if it hadn't been her FAVORITE giraffe-guy that I had just sewn a new pacifier on to, to prolong his life. So when we got home I called Target to see if the cashier had maybe found it (I was pretty confident Ruthe dropped it while I was paying.) but no. So we puttered around, did something else, and I called again a few hours later. Still no luck. Oh well, I thought, she's getting a little to old for these anyway - one down, nine to go.
Until this morning. We had to run some more errands around town & Target would be on our way home so I called again just.in.case. And good thing, too! They found Geoff!! YAY! So at lunch I made a quick list of the three things we needed at Target. Three things. How long could that take? We rescued Geoff from the lost & found first thing and Ruthe was SO EXCITED that she couldn't even contain herself. I had no choice but to go grab a travel pack of wipies to give the bink a spit-bath so she could hold him. Four things. By the time we got to the granola bars she had dropped him twice and taken off one shoe. Then, while I searched for John's protein drinks I remembered we were out of milk & cereal. Six things. Now Ruthe was barefoot & I was trying to hide Geoff in my back pocket because I accidentally ran over him with the cart. When I remembered the crock-pot liners she just lost it. So Geoff got another bath, I put her shoes back on, stuck her headband on like a ninja's, and went to pay. Everything and everyone was present and accounted for. Shoes/headband/bink were promptly removed from the baby and placed in a bag. When we got to the car she didn't want to sit down.
I am officially taking a hiatus from shopping. That's a lie, I'm just not taking the baby with me anymore. Well, ok, I'll bring her, but she's going naked.
